Pacing: How Description and Sentence Length Affect It and Balancing Fast and Slow Scenes

If your novel was made into a movie, pacing is how fast or slow the events occurring in your story would happen at any given moment.

As a writer, you’re writing words that will create a movie within the reader’s mind and you need to think about whether or not they can keep up. You want solemn scenes to feel like they slow down, and action scenes to feel like they speed up. My own weak point is to pace my stories too fast (likely because as a speed reader, that’s what feels natural) so I’ve had to learn how to slow down and let my reader breathe.

Let’s take a look at how you can tell if your pacing needs a change and how you can change it to fit with your scenes and desires.

Adding or Subtracting the Description Adjusts the Pacing.

Nine times out of ten, a problem with my pacing being too fast would also be connected to a remark like, “I can’t really get a picture of the setting?” Now, description wasn’t my strong suit either, but it revealed a theme to me.

If I slow down and mention the flowers, the closed casket, the clock on the wall, and what Hero Joe and Ally Tara are wearing for Ally Sam’s funeral, I can make the scene feel more frozen in time.

Here’s an example:

The red and gold flowers on the closed casket were beautiful, donated by the grateful villagers who had Ally Sam to thank for the relocation of the marauding dragon.

A white clock on the wall ticked away the seconds, a solemn reminder of human mortality to the living villagers gathered in silence among the wooden pews.

Hero Joe stood in front of the casket, still not speaking if he could help it, still fighting the nagging sense that it was because of him that Ally Sam was dead.

Love-Interest Tara took a white rose from her hair and tucked it into Joe’s buttonhole, knowing he would place it on the casket for her, then fled the room in tears.

Hero Joe sighed to himself and wiped his eyes with a corner of his handkerchief. No, he wouldn’t cry. Not here. Sam wouldn’t have liked that at all.

On the other hand, if Villain Ed’s unceremonious henchman barges in in the middle of the funeral, waving a sword at Hero Joe, things are going to need to move faster.

Just then, the side door flew open. Why there was a side door, Hero Joe wasn’t sure, and didn’t have time to ask.

Henchman Naaman crashed in, waving a cutlass. “Come an’ get me, Master Joe!” crowed he, lunging down the center aisle.

The villagers shrieked, drawing back.

Hero Joe grabbed for his scabbard and whipped out his longsword, leaping backwards. Steel scraped on steel as Naaman thrust and Joe deflected.

Naaman cackled, swinging at Joe’s neck.

Joe leaned back. He felt the wind of the blade pass. Then he leaped onto a pew. “Fight me up here, you fiend!”

Naaman cackled and leaped up onto the pew with Joe.

Adjusting Your Sentence Length Has An Effect, Too!

Phew! That last scene moved a lot faster. Now, I want you to notice another thing I did.

In that first scene, the sentences are longer, and I’ve taken the time to describe the room and the event going on. It makes the entire scene feel more relaxed and solemn.

In the second scene, I use short, abrupt sentences. These make the action seem more instantaneous, like the short blows of the swords.

I’ve also mixed short sentences with a few longer ones. These give the feeling of the blades hanging in air between the blows. Last, the only description of the room I’ve given is related to the sword fight. The pews were just objects before. Now they’re an obstacle.

Put the Slow Scene Before the Fast Scene.

Notice how I presented the example of sentence lengths to you. First, I gave you a slow scene, with the description of the room in the funeral home. Then I allowed Henchman Naaman to barge in, and pushed the scene to move faster. But wait!

I wasn’t describing the room in the second scene, so how did you know where to picture the sword fight?

You knew because I had already given you the information in the slow scene!

By putting a slow scene before a fast one, you can avoid making the reader struggle to imagine the space around the action.

If You Need to Put a Fast Scene Before a Slow Scene.

If you’re starting your novel, and you want to open with an action scene before a slow scene (let’s say that Hero Joe has just seen the factory where his brother works blown up) you need to change your tactic.

Write with the same short sentences, but choose things to describe which will feel personal to your reader. Show the entire smoking factory once, then use your words to zoom in.

Show Hero Joe running towards the factory. Show him finding his brother’s lunchbox under a pile of bricks. Show him scrabbling at the rubble, with tear streaks in the grime he’s getting on his face.

We don’t yet know our hero, but the frantic pace and sharp, personal details will grab your reader’s curiosity and pull them into the pages.

Pretty nifty, huh?

Long sentences in an action scene will slow the scene down. Description should be just what matters to the action, and no more.

Short sentences in a slow scene will speed the scene up. Description should be broader, painting a picture of the setting.

You can also put fast scenes before slow scenes by making the details personal.

It’s your story. Just make sure your details and sentences count, and it should turn out beautiful.

Brooke Johnson, out.